Here is the story of my life... but, I consider this "training". Challenge accepted - a test of personal faith. Because wether you think you CAN, or think you can't.... YOUR RIGHT! Chin up is Always coming out on top, leaps and bounds ahead of the game; undefeated!
You can do anything if you put you mind to it. LIFE- it's simply just mind over matter. With a positive attitude, the possibilities are infinite, and limited only by your fears and doubts.
Things you don't know about me:
Damn. Damn shame! It's extreme how much people despise confidence. Just because displaying a zealous affinity for oneself, does not mean a disregard for others, at all. Instead, Au contraire. (The exact opposite)
What gets my grits is that others often have no idea that I literally get enjoyment and personal appreciation every moment of every day... when I aim to always say the most nice thing possible. That's quite frankly, my ONLY game in life. "Top that Deed". My exchanges are met with much cooperation and are delightful situations. I'm thoughtful of others and offended that people are oblivious to such. My interactions are beyond kind. I actually get off on seeing how nice I can be. Manners and proper pleasantries. Things that make/help others to have a nice day.
[Writing is a favorite of mine. So hear me out. You may find me to be blunt, but I call that effective communication. I use puns and creative context.]
Some examples of my Character:
When I drive through toll booths, I hand over the money, and say "Have a nice day, Claire." Yes. I actually look at their name tag and engage them with their name... as I go to speed off down the highway
I'm concise , and respected in professional dialog.
I say things all the time like "thank you kindly",
"Nice to see you," (when meeting someone for the first time) and
(have a nice day)"thanks I will, you too"
"I understand, no worries, no problem, awesome sauce, etc" and my favorite, "Sure thing!"
When I pass by a person suffering, I do not ignore them. I NEVER ignore suffering!
I'll give often to homeless or the Really down and out. They don't even always ask, but I always hand them TWO cigarettes. And with a big smile... I tell them "Here you go! Here is a cig- one for now.... And here's one for Ron. Later on. " that right there is a great moment !!
And I've been known to repeat that process, when I don't finish my restaurant meal. But first thing I will do is stop at the corner store, and get a cold can of coke cola for less than a buck. It is a wonderful thing to ask someone "Hi there, are you hungry?" When that split second of shock wears off, their shoulders crumble as they exclaim "oh, man....(It hits hard) uh. Yea!" As bright as I can, I hand over a bag... say here you go... this is the other half of my shrimp fettuccine. Or the other 6" to the foot long sub. Half a teriyaki and rice with an egg roll. (Alas, they even had a dog! Hiding behind them!!) Always a cold soda. 2 cigs. homecoming dress stores
Stranded or stuck person sitting on a curb? I'd ask them if they need help or need to make a phone call.
I'm so tired of the people that [don't] know me making it a point to have disdain because I love myself. (Heatbreaking if they only knew, Ive spent 80% of my lifetime alone. Not by choice. I am estranged by my parents who also rejected my self love.) And my mother tried to have me (premeditated) murdered. She watched, but it didn't happen.
I even grew up in Germany for the first four years of my life... And I was the only child I saw. My entire life has been lonely. So god damn it, I wish meanie-heads would stop criticizing my self adoration. (Im all I have) If a person feels that way, to say that I, of All People am Too Proud-- then look> there is the door, imagine it... And exit my life. Go back over the boundary line. EVERYONE should love themselves!
I've spent 35% of my lifetime weeping.. my breath choked, I almost drown it seems, tears flowing through the passages of my nose because I weep like a hydrant. My keening!!! (The protector of my ancestors, Scottish Kings and Queens, -The Banshee.)
I was the girl who never had sleep overs as a child or ever got to go to them. I was not included in any group photos as a teenager or adult, because I was never invited, and even though I literally said HI TO EVERY PERSON, (all cliques- rejects & nerds(my favorite), preps, jocks, and tough guys(me). ALL! the Breakfast Club my favorite movie) even though- I was always the odd one left out when others teamed up. That last person standing, all by themself. Always. No one ever picked me.
I'm that girl who invited Two Dozen girls to my 16th Birthday party, and Not One Single Person Showed. Or Called. I'm that girl that couldn't find a date to Homecoming, but the Art Club wanted me to run for Queen. Having just moved in with my desolate scum-mother, after explaining I had no way to get a dress, my teacher volunteered to buy me one. I couldn't find a date, everyone I asked rejected me and the art teacher made me give the dress back. I haven't done art since.
I'm that girl who was never asked, or went, to Prom. Almost died on prom night, in a car accident that I was passenger in. Additionally, I was on life support, having been in a coma for a week. After learning how to walk and talk again, I was left with a speech impediment, I can't help slurring my S, and sometimes I get a slight facial dystrophy when I'm sad, my facial muscles may droop quite far and become numb and slightly paralyzed. I can't deal with the physiology of pills, and I have never even taken them, but my in-laws were convinced I was a pill head. They hated me, too.
Instead of giving zero fucks, I choose hope and yet I always give the benefit of [not ever!] having doubts, instead of saying 'shut the front door' I'll choose to use "open all the doors." Furthermore, everytime a male holds an entrance door for me (I never seem to actually have to pull any open..) my reply is, no matter who it is.. "Thank you! Mister(Mr.)
I look every single human in the eye.
If I see something that needs done (work repair) I do it. My integrity to do the right thing is unwavering. I never ever say fuck it oh well. Comprehend the fact that regularly, others in construction are giving only a half effort. They don't even try and leave much unattended to.
Old lady with a flat tire on the interstate? I pull over and change it. - She had been there for 5 hours!
Child lost in busy mall.. split second reaction, I raise my hand high, as I comfort her and wait for her parents. The entire other half of the food court was frozen and had just watched her walk by. But the mom saw me and I don't care how strange I ever look.
Swimmers had gone out far from shore, thrashing and yelling, they were by the buoys, waiving their hands. Well, I ran up to a motorboat on the beach, and said "Those people look to be in distress... it's pretty far out... can you take your boat over there and check it out"
Turtle in the road. I stop.
That's winning the race. (Tortoise & the Hare)
Well anyhow, this is all I care to share, but it feels nice to vent. I guess.
It's pretty sad, sadder, saddest, that so many people hate the fact that I love myself. Even though I am the only one who does.
People don't realize that's the first tenement (rule) to success?
THEY've said it's lonely at the top. Thing is.. I've been conditioned for that my entire life. But it's tiresome and arduous that many many many try to bring me down. So suppose.. how would you deal?
.... And ....go:
Would you shuffle?
Would you show your cards? Would you bluff?
Or, Would you play a "card" to manipulate?
(Au revoir, as I think of the Lady Gaga beat)
I'll survive. I am in the strongest woman competition.
Oh look, a butterfly. .......♡
Ooh La La
Nearly a book, and yet who hears me?
- the minions go blah, blah o.hlala