In this past month I've learned a lot...
What's my next move? I don't know.
It's not like I'm bad at directions or
something like that but... I really can't seem
to find my way home. Okay so here's the
deal. My parents would never and I mean
never let us leave the country by ourselves.
The only reason we could leave our house
was because my mom's older sister had just
moved to America. When my parents
dropped us off at the girls dorm, they made
sure to visit her and her house. My aunt had
three children just like my mom. and Kashifa
was the same age as me. Ruhi, Kashifa's older
sister and my aunt's eldest daughter was
three years older than Aakifah. And Zafeer
was five years old. Me and Aakifah went the
next day to meet them without our parents.
They were really nice, but Kashifa was... sort
of a rebel. She was super obsessed with
tatooes. She had already secretly gotten one
on her arm. She was lively and energetic but
again.. she really isn't someone I would hang
out with at school since I was quiet and in
some aspects the complete opposite. I've
never dated. I hated guys. I adored my
abaya's and long maxi dresses for Allah and
for myslef. They made me feel really secure.
Kashifa... just didn't really understand why I'd
waste my life on it. I was pretty annoyed
when she brang up topics like sex and
virginity. I felt so impure afterwards but her
older sister Ruhi was extremely nice. She
actually wanted to talk about religion. She
said her little sister doesn't really care about
stuff like that. In three hours, Aakifah and me
became tight with Ruhi. Our dorms were a
half an hour drive from their house.
When we got back to our dorms, Ruhi said
she's drop some food off every friday or we'd
just go out and eat. She just graduated.
Aakifah who was supposed to be in her
second year of university was in her first
merely because she almost wasted another
year in pharmacy tech in collage. But she
didn't like the program so she ended up
agreeing with me about the move to
It was after my chemistry class that I began
walking home. It was the first time without
Aakifah that I was walking to the dorms...
alone. I had this huge feeling in my gut that I
was being stared at. I don't see what's so
attractive about me (without any make up or
jewellery) that someone keeps staring at me.
Oh, and that's another change in my life. No
more fashion. I guess after marriage, you'd
think you'd want to look pretty for your
husband and everything, but I felt like crap
each and everyday. Besides its not like
Sheath sees me everyday. It's bee over a year
and I'm still trying to process the fact that
I'm married. My eyes were on the ground
with earphone on. I was listening to an arabic
nasheed. It was 7pm. I slowly raised my eyes
to look behind and saw... no one.
Maybe it was just my imagination? It should
be. I don\t want no stalker. The streets were
empty. I looked back once again, sighed then
turned back. I turned right, there were trees.
I turned left, there was a guy wearing white
jeans with a black t-shirt that said 'I'm a
Yup that scared the blood out of me. I turned
pale, and started walking faster. I want to go
back home... not the dorms! But home! By
now I should be very far right?? I turned back
and saw no one. I turned right, nothing. I
turned left.... HE REALLY IS A JIN!
My face turned bright red and I felt a little
sick in my stomache. I turned back and the
guy looked up at me from his iphone screen
and grinned. Ya Allah... please help me.
That's right, maybe he's just going the same
way as me... I turned back and started
walking where I came from. I felt nothing
behind me afterwards...
Thank god it wasn't a stalker. I read Ayatul
Kursi and calmed down as I took the longer
route back to the dorms. I was home in no
time and when I told Aakifah about it, she
just screamed at me for not waiting for her.
Her class ended an hour after mine and it's
not like the dorms were that far.
The next day I went to class... the same guy
was sitting three rows ahead of me. I was a
little scared because I felt a little creeped out royal blue cocktail dresses
afterwards. Whenever he walks next to me or
I pass by him in class or something like that
he never pays attention to me (which is
great) but I always get the feeling that he's
staring at me. But no he's either reading a
book or listening to his ipod...
A week passed by until he came to me and
At this point I didn't really know anyone in
the class except the girl that befriended me
on the first day. We were choosing out
partners for lab we had to perform. But the
girl was already paired up with her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend was a tall bulky person who
was pretty smart and cute. Haha... not that I
looked at him. I have a habit of judging guys
without even looking at them... which is
weird. But I guess it can't be helped that my
personality doesn't match a normal girl's
The girl actually wanted to do the project
with me but her boyfriend already called dibs
on her... I'm starting to hate him already.
"Yes?" I said a little awkwardly as he came up
to me. I was thinking about which girl to be
partnered up with. But honestly, there was a
huge shortage of girls in the class and I got
scared. What if this guy keeps me from
getting in a group with girls.
"Let's partner up..." He said, responding to
my awkwardness in a low toned hoarse voice.
What should I do?? I still think he's a Jin! And
he's a guy to begin with! I could feel my lips
dry up as I took a peek at him. He had his
hair dyed completely black. And he looked
like he was a white and pure American. His
eyes were hazel, the type that stands out
like... Sheath's. He had a cute face which you
could only see if you looked at him from close
"Um... " I didn't know what to say. The
teacher clapped her hands like an elementary
teacher to get us quiet.
"It seems like we've all chosen our partners.
So let's get working quick." She said....
"Sure... I guess." I said quietly. The problems
a Muslimah faces... group work!
During our lab I would look up to look at the
guy across from me and see his eyes directly
at the experiement. I've never once caught
him looking at me. But I was still a little
confused. When I get the feeling that people
are staring at me, then I'm usually right.
"... Is there something on my face?" He
That shook me up. How did he know I
was staring at him? How was he so sure? I
looked away slowly, shaking my head like a
"What's your name?" I asked. Without looking
up, he answered. It's not like I was trying to
make conversation or something. I was
actually a little curious.
"Afsar." He answered. Wasn't that a Muslim
name? He didn't look like one at all. I mean,
not that I'm judging but I wouldn't be
surprised if he was a revert, I nodded my
head to that. It was actually a nice name. I
wonder what it...
"It means lightening..." He said in his quiet
hoarse voice. I looked up at him.
"Wait. I didn't even ask you about it yet..." I
said a little shocked. That was one heck of a
He finally looked at me, and said, "Shouldn't
you be lowering your gaze?" Wait... What?
Then he turned to look at a table in front of
him. "It's easy to read your face."
When I went home that day, I didn't see him
walking with me. When I turned a corner to
enter my dorms, I saw him way ahead of me.
When I sat down on my bed with my laptop
doing an assignment, I was wondering how
Sheath was doing... but then my thoughts
turned directly to Afsar. I began to think
what his life was like and how he was so quiet
and everything. Aakifah came to my bed with
a huge bag of chips.
"Did you pray Maghrib?" She asked. I
nodded. I did but I was only nodding for the
heck of it.
"Did you see that jinni today?" She asked. I
nodded, lazily as I stuffed some chips into my
"Did you get to find out if he was stalking you
or something?" I nodded. I seriously didn't
know what she was asking but who cares,
"Did he catch a spell on you?" I nodded. The
chips do taste awesome. I want more. I
wonder if we have any Doritos left.
"Do you love him now?" I nodded half way,
then I told Aakifah to slap me.
"What's wrong with you?" She laughed.
"I want to see Sheath..." I said under my
"Then go. No ones stopping you. In a couple
of years you'll have a family with him and
you'll be living together too."
Oh, right. I don't really get what Sheath
wants after this.